Sometimes the act of spontanous creation is a gift I give to myself. Allowing myself time to explore my craft without a fixed design in mind. Not starting with a plan means I am free to take the creation in any direction it wants to go, try new techniques, or use some of my favourites. Just playing. There’s definitely a difference in how I approach pieces I custom design for clients, and the creation process when I let myself go. With custom gold pieces, precision is everything; it reduces waste which allows me to give my clients the best possible price possible. This means I’m often designing within a fraction of a millimeter.
So, giving myself bench time that is unconstrained and undirected, is really important for keeping my creative energy flowing. It is easy to forget to build that time into my life, but it makes a huge difference when I do. Allowing myself the freedom to play helps recreate the excitement around my art, and having no fixed outcome means I can let go of fears of failure and just explore. No pressure.
That’s kind of how this custom pendant piece came about. My creation process started by drawing a few ideas; I knew I wanted it to be asymmetrical, have a bezel & prongs to hold the stone. Then, I just got into my studio & allowed myself some creative time.
This piece combines a stunning dark veined piece of Pixie mine turquoise, set in fine & sterling silver. I showed the stone to my sister shortly after I got it & she was mesmerized by it. I kinda tucked that away in my brain & always thought I would gift it to her if I ever had the chance. This year provided the perfect opportunity.
My sister is one of the most important people in my life. She turned 50 this year & I wanted to craft something really special to mark the occasion. If you’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting my sister, you know she is truly one-of-a-kind, and I am so glad that I decided to make her a custom pendant that is as unique as she is!
I love this piece, and so does she. I found the process of creating something freestyle extremely energizing.
Do you have an artistic outlet? Do you remember to let yourself play, to explore, and learn and develop through experimenting. It might be by trying new ways of cooking, drawing, dancing…anything! But giving yourself the freedom to do things your way, just because you want to can have wonderful results. I don’t just mean because you might create a masterpiece! I mean because playing is something fundamental to being human that we often lose as we become adults, and finding ways to get back in touch with it is a fantastic way to improve our wellbeing!
Do you want to celebrate someone you love? Reach out and we can see whether a custom piece could work for you.
Custom pieces can be ANYTHING; pendant, brooch, tie-pin, earrings, ring, or body jewellery. Create something one of a kind, for a person who is one in a million!
Asking for help can be challenging, but I’ve come to realize that we are not meant to go through life alone. We, as a social species, thrive on interdependence and community support. That’s why I’m reaching out to you today with an exciting opportunity.
Are you intrigued by my art and what I share about myself?
Would you like to support my artistic journey and help me keep creating?
Are you interested in contributing to essential healthcare for a disabled artist like me?
Do you have a little extra to spare and want to make a difference?
I’m searching for a small group of individuals who can pledge a monthly donation to support my journey and art practice in a sustainable, long-term way. If this resonates with you, keep reading to learn more! And if not, please consider sharing this with someone who might be interested in supporting my work.
Many of you have shown a strong interest in the topics I’m passionate about, from supporting marginalized artists, to advocating for social justice and ancestral healing. I’m thrilled to see that what excites you the most are my posts about community support, identity, and healing; along with the behind-the-scenes glimpses into my creation process. These are the stories and insights I’m most excited to share, but they also require a significant amount of energy to create.
As an independent QTPOC artist, word-of-mouth referrals and connections made on social media are crucial for the success of my business. However, I’ve been facing challenges with recent changes on social media platforms that have led to a decrease in engagement and visibility. Additionally, some of my posts, particularly those addressing social justice issues, have been blocked or suppressed.
Creating free content for social media has been time-consuming and costly, but I believed it was the only way to reach more people and sustain my art practice. However, I’ve come to realize that this model is flawed, especially for disabled artists like myself.
I understand that jewelry is a luxury, and I don’t want anyone to feel pressured to make purchases they can’t afford. That’s why I’ve decided to launch my Patreon account, offering an alternative way for people to support me and my craft. Patreon is a membership platform that allows artists and creators to provide exclusive content to their subscribers.
Your support will help me access essential healthcare, particularly the regular bodywork I need due to my spinal injury and chronic pain. As an artist, my creative work is my lifeline, providing me with flexibility to accommodate my body’s needs. However, not being able to predict monthly income makes covering personal and business expenses a challenge.
I want to create a more accessible way for you to support me, regardless of your interest in custom jewelry. No matter how much you are able to give, everyone will have the same access to the content, community, and space. No status, no hierarchy, just a space for us to share perspectives, ask questions, and connect.
I’m excited to invite you to join my Patreon and be part of my support network and community; I’m especially excited to share a deeper look into my research and creation process as I develop prototypes inspired by my Filipino ancestors metalwork. With this transition, I’ll be sharing less on social media, reserving exclusive content for my patrons.
I believe in transparency and flexibility, so feel free to offer what you can afford and change it whenever you need to. Your contribution will support my health, art, and overall security.
Yes, I am asking for financial help, and yes, it makes me feel vulnerable, but I’m also hopeful. Your support will make a meaningful impact on my journey, and I’m grateful for every step we take together.
Thank you for considering joining my Patreon and being a part of my artistic adventure!
This topic is super important to me, and I’ve been talking about it in on social media the past month.
Humans aren’t meant to live life alone. Our communities, whether nearby or spread across the world, are vital to our wellbeing. Whether we’re building, caring, grieving or celebrating; community is key.
We get so much from the care of our community, but it isn’t a one way relationship. We also give support to those in our community, and this matters. It’s essential that we’re putting care back in too; so our community can take care of each other.
Community Care is A Lot Like Self-Care
“If self-care is about what you do for yourself, then community care is what you put into and what you are able to receive from, the community you have built around yourself…”
By now you must know I’m all about self-care and this is intrinsically tied to my passion for community care. Propaganda from the $$$ self-help/wellness industry, has caused some folks to perceive self-care as selfish and materialist; some have even gone so far as to call for self-care to be dismantled. They see community care as morally superior.
Not me.
We need both. Self-care doesn’t detract from community care, just like working to dismantle transphobia, doesn’t undermine efforts to eradicate racism! They’re bound together. In a way, self-care IS community care.
Practicing self-care does not negate community care. In fact, I think self-care can help build capacity for community care. As Mama Ru says, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?!” I think this sentiment can apply to acts of care too. Nurturing and supporting yourself can build empathy and teach you how to nurture and support others. There is room for ALL the care.
Meaningful Self-Care Matters
When I say self-care, I don’t mean doing something that costs money or buying something material. I mean, those things are nice, don’t get me wrong! But I mostly mean, intentionally checking in with my body and brain to see how I’m doing, then attending to anything that arises. That might just mean sitting with the feeling of pain or making space for a difficult emotion. How can I nourish others if I am running on empty? I’ve learned the hard way, I simply can’t.
I’ve seen SO many people burnout because they are not prioritizing their well-being, not listening to their needs. I’ve been in activist circles where people are pressured to go beyond their limits to prove themselves to be a martyr for “the cause.”
But at what cost? My dream is of sustainable movements for social change with room enough for people of all abilities.
For me, self-care is just one piece of the puzzle; one tool in the toolbox.
Focusing everything on self-care is a bit like telling people “Look after yourself, because you’re on your own.” When we add community-care in it become more like “Look after yourself, but we’ve got you, just like you were there for us when we needed you.” Yes, you’re caring for yourself, but now alone. Not in isolation. There’s a safety net, if you like. There’s more than one tool in our toolbox.
Building yourself up through meaningful self-care helps you build up the community. Building up the community supports those who need more than self-care right now and need to draw on that wider support system. Ideally, we all pay in when we can and receive when we need and because it’s based on strong ties and commitment we don’t measure deposits and withdrawals like bankers. Life doesn’t work like that.
Both/And: Community Care and Self-Care Go Hand in Hand
Together community-care and self-care are part of our toolbox for survival, or better, for thriving and living meaningful lives in our world.
I think of community care like an antidote to the often brutal, individualistic society capitalism has created & exploited; it’s the opposite of isolation & overwhelm.
Community care is a supportive action that says, “You are not alone. How can I help ease your suffering?” It acknowledges that we are all in this together. It says, “When you hurt; I hurt.”
For me, community care is interdependence in action. It lifts life’s burdens & injustices off of an individual’s shoulders, and places it into the hands of a more resourced group. Community care is practical. It says, “Let’s do this <insert really hard thing> together.”
Community care is inherently relational; it meets individual & systemic hardships with collective efforts.
Community care feels like a hug from your chosen family; like being held safely in the arms of your besties. Community care feels soft & gentle; compassionate & kind.
Do I give back?
If you’ve never heard of community care, you may be wondering in panic whether you give back. Chances are you do, you just never thought of it this way. Thinking about community care helps us approach it with intentionality and use our resources (time, energy, financial) in the most effective way for our community.
Can you see examples of community care in your life? Think about when you have received community care, and when you might have offered it.
Maybe you weren’t familiar with the term community care, but almost everyone has experienced it. It’s the meal train that was organized after you got surgery; or a loved one passed away. It’s the care package sent by far away friends during your latest round of chemo. It’s sharing warm, home cooked meals.
Community care is anything but glamorous.
It’s waking up at 3am to help your friend take their pain meds.
It’s helping your neurodivergent friend organize their space.
It’s scrubbing your friend’s tub, so they can soak their aching body.
It’s driving to doctor’s appointments.
It’s making a phone call.
It’s buying groceries and washing dishes.
It’s holding space for grief and sadness.
It’s witnessing the suffering of another human being.
It is not glamorous but it is powerful and it truly matters.
If you have benefitted from community care, feel free to share and celebrate how it has supported you.
Community care and me
I’ve benefitted so much from the care of people around me; family, chosen family, friends, Filipinx nad queer/trans communities. I try to ensure that I’m giving back too.
For me, acts of service is one of my love languages, so that’s how my community care often materializes: creating LGBTQ+ safe spaces; teaching and sharing knowledge.
I’ve been doing community organizing work since I was 19. As a queer, trans, Filipinx kid growing up in a small town, I didn’t have safe spaces or community, so I made it my life’s mission to create and build community wherever I go. In college I was coordinator for ‘Brown Pride,’ a social/support group for QTBIPOC students while working as a Peer Support person in a retention program for at-risk college students.
Before I became disabled and my capacities changed, I’d perform physical acts of service, but recently, it’s more emotional/moral support. I really feel like COVID-19 further diminished my capacity to offer community care, and now with all the trans-panic and hate it’s not looking up. Boo!
That’s hard because things like trans-panic often hit the whole community at the same time, and put huge numbers in need of support. Many people are in more than one community, so at times like this we sometimes have to draw on support from another community; our local community, a religious/social/cultural community, if we have one.
Community care is often especially important for marginalized groups, like people of colour and queer people, whose life experiences may not be shared by the wider community at large. These can help individuals find self-acceptance, learn about their heritage and practice their cultures as part of a minority in an often hostile world.
Our individualistic society really undervalues community, so we need to be intentional about building our communities up, and drawing people in. That’s the only way to ensure that they survive and thrive in the future. We have to value them and care for them precisely because society does not.
I want this article to challenge you to think about care; self-care, community care you have benefitted from, and community care you have participated in. Are these practices meeting your needs and the needs of the community? Which of your, and your communities needs are going unmet? Can you use your self and community care intentionally to more effectively meet those needs?
May is Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage month and Seattle Now [CW11], a CBS affiliate, featured me and my work as part of their programming!
As you probably already know, embracing my Filipino heritage has been an important part of my life. This past year, after years of research & speculation, I was finally able to confirm what specific regions in the Philippines my ancestors are from; this includes Northern Luzon, the same region as where linglingos are believed to originate from! I had known it in my heart for a long time, but to finally get confirmation feels like such a gift.
So why is it important? Well, just like indigenous groups on Turtle Island, Filipinos in different regions have their own languages, creation stories/myths, regalia/amulets, weavings and tattoo motifs, to name a few! I’m excited to further my learning with the new found knowledge of exactly where my ancestors called home.
I make art and jewelry not just for me and my clients, but also as a tribute to those that came before me. For the ancient Filipino goldsmiths that were called to create, just like I was. I make art inspired by the art of my ancestors, to honour them and to show them that their craft and skill carry’s on in me, and all the amazing artists & crafts people that are revitalizing Filipino traditions.
This year, it feels more important than ever to be visible as a non-binary, trans, Filipinx person, especially because I know there are so many trans folks who cannot be out. The massive wave of anti-trans legislation that is sweeping the US is effectively outlawing our very existence.
And the thing is, this political circus is completely unnecessary; trans & non-binary people are simply being used to sow division. But the consequences of using us this way are dire; it will only embolden those who wish to cause us harm. We are literally talking about human lives.
Every year, hundreds of trans/gender non-conforming people die due to anti-trans violence. In 2022, PinkNews reported at least 327 people lost their lives. Legitimizing transphobia through legislation will result in more violence, not less.
Conservatives are spreading dangerous lies in an attempt to sow fear and incite trans-panic. To be clear, NO trans children are undergoing surgery. The most ‘extreme’ treatment for youth is allowing access to puberty blockers which simply delays puberty, temporarily. If I had access to this as a trans youth it would have prevented my from under-going major surgery, twice. It makes no sense to criminalize gender-affirming healthcare that literally saves lives. I know it saves lives because it saved mine.
The thing is, trans people have existed since the beginning of time and we will continue to exist regardless of the number of laws that are passed. We will not be bullied back into the shadows. We are in every workplace, every school and every family. You’ve been peeing next to us your entire life with no negative consequence. Drag queens have been reading to children for years, no incidents there either. We are just like you, trying to live peaceful lives.
The truth is trans and non-binary people are the ones who are being hurt. We are the ones who spend our whole lives being forced into a gender binary that is not our own. We are the ones who are bullied & threatened with physical violence. We are the ones who are discriminated against. We are the ones who are being murdered just for living our truth. We don’t want to turn your kids trans. We want trans kids to live to be adults.
I’ve been feeling angry. Really, really angry. The trend in conservative politics to create & pass anti-trans legislation that specifically targets one of the most vulnerable, least powerful populations in the US; trans & non-binary CHILDREN; is absolutely appalling. This is spearheaded by one of the most powerful demographics in the world, cis-het, white men. I am seething with rage.
Being a trans kid that doesn’t fit into the gender binary is hard enough in this world, I remember. But to then have your own government actively writing laws to make it illegal for you to seek healthcare that might literally save your life, you can’t understand the kind of damage that does to one’s psyche, unless you’ve lived it; especially as a young child.
There have been times in my life that it became so heavy, painful & inescapable that I did not feel like I could keep living in this world. It felt like the only way to get relief from the pain, was in my own death.
I came of age in a time when the only trans representation in the media was drag queens and mentally ill serial killers. The first time I ever saw a trans-masculine person being portrayed on the big screen, he would be raped & murdered before the two hours was up. In terms of queer representation, for a short time, there was Ellen. But I distinctly remember thinking, ‘if Ellen is what being gay is, than I’m not gay’. When she did finally come out, her show was cancelled.
I knew that I was not equal under the law; I could loose my job for just being me & definitely could not marry. I actually ended up leaving my home country at the age of 22, because there was no way for my partner at the time to legally immigrate to the states. So I eloped & moved to Canada with whatever I could fit in my car. I left behind all my friends, family, and a career I loved. In a new country without a support system, I became extremely isolated and ended up staying in a extremely toxic marriage for seven years before finally breaking free.
As a queer, gender non-conforming youth, it honestly felt like the whole world was against me. I battled depression & suicidal ideation daily. The only thing that kept me going, was an inner voice inside me who always knew it was not me that was wrong, it was them. I was stubborn & I knew it was right to be my true-self, no matter the cost. It was a long and often lonely road, but eventually I found my people. I have spent the majority of my life doing community organizing work, because I never wanted another human, but especially youth, to feel alone & isolated like I did.
If I’d had access to gender affirming health care, it would have saved me from so many tortured nights I spent contemplating my own death. If I had a single adult advocate for me to receive the care I needed, it would have decreased my suffering ten-fold. If I had known as a child that trans people existed; if I had had the language to describe my gender as something more complex than male or female, I know my path would have been easier. But instead, I lived for years with an internal battle; knowing I could end my suffering at anytime… by ending me.
So now that grown men are fear mongering & spreading lies about what gender affirming care actually is (no one is saying children should get surgery) & writing legislation to criminalize adults who are seeking healthcare for trans youths, I am livid.
Like, why don’t you go pick on someone your own size? Maybe the billionaires that are destroying the planet? Or, idk, working to end gun violence by banning military assault rifles? You know the weapons that literally kill children on the daily? Just spitballing here… 🙄😤
But no. It’s the trans children they are after. It’s shameful, cowardice, and will literally cost trans people their lives. And time will show that they are, indeed, on the wrong side of history. But that brings little comfort now to trans children and the adults that support them.
The truth is that if this was about protecting children, gun reform bills would have already been passed and made into law. But this isn’t about protecting kids, it’s about conservatives waging an ideological war against the left. It’s about stoking ignorance & fear to foster moral outrage; so that when it comes time to vote in 2024 people will believe they are casting a vote to protect children. In reality, these laws make children more unsafe and criminalize the existence of an entire community of people who are just trying to live their lives in peace.
So, I decided to make a sticker. It won’t change anything, but maybe it will be seen by a trans person & make their day a little better and/or their space a little safer.
Join my mailing list to get early access to my stickers with an exclusive offer at noon today.
PROTECT TRANS KIDS Trans love is greater than cis-hate Trans truth is greater than cis-lies Trans joy is greater than cis-shame Trans lives are greater than cis-fears Trans people are greater than cis-politics Trans laughter is greater than cis-tears Trans health is greater than cis-comfort Trans children are greater than cis-man babies
Thirteen years ago, I almost died… & it changed the course of my life forever.
[CW: accident/physical trauma]
Image ID: Black & white CT scan of Samonte’s head and six cervical vertebrae. The C1 vertebra is broken.
I was heading down to rehearse for a queer, independent film I was acting in at the time. I didn’t have a car, so I was catching a bus to the train station. It was cold & rainy out, so I put on my big blue coat & headed out on foot.
As I approached the busy intersection, I could see the bus down the road. I looked both ways & stepped into the street to cross the road. Instantly, the visual I had on the bus was gone. I could not make sense of what I was seeing… it was a jumbled up mess. Then I realized- I’m being hit by a car. Then silence; then, darkness.
The next thing I remember is opening my eyes & seeing the sideways view of traffic lights in the intersection cycling from green, to yellow, to red. I was laying on my side, in a puddle, in the middle of the road. More specifically, the left hand turning lane in a puddle in the middle of a six lane intercity highway.
“I’ve been hit by a car,” I thought. Then the pain came; deep, sharp pain on the right side of my neck & shoulder. “My neck is broken.” The pain was so severe & so acutely located, I knew immediately it was broken. I knew I shouldn’t move because my spinal cord could become severed; or maybe it already was? I tried to wiggle my toes- I think they moved? I’m not sure.
As the rain came down, I stared at the traffic light cycling through it’s colors at a steady rate.
Green. Yellow. Red.
Then I had a bone chilling thought. “It’s dark & rainy. I’m laying in the middle of Knight Street, the direct route for semi-trucks to pick up goods at the Port of Vancouver, BC. … I might be about to get run over again.” I cringed at the thought.
Green. Yellow. Red.
I knew the only thing I could do was wait for help. I tried to take a deep breath but I couldn’t. I didn’t know it at the time, by sternum had broken & both of my lungs had collapsed.
Green Yellow. Red.
Eventually, although I couldn’t move, I sensed that there were people around me; they were trying to figure out if I was still alive. One leaned down close & asked me a question I can’t remember. I tried to speak, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t move my mouth or my tongue to make sounds. I wanted to say, “My neck is broken, don’t move me!” I knew if they tried to administer CPR, my spinal cord might get severed and there was nothing I could do.
Green. Yellow. Red.
The only thing I could do was to try to breathe the best that I could & wait for the paramedics to come & help me.
Green. Yellow. Red.
As I laid in a puddle, in the pouring rain, I felt this sense of calm wash over me. Surrendering to the the present moment; to what is. Surrendering to reality of severe trauma and the unknown. Everything I had ever learned in my life about healing, compassion and mindfulness kicked in and I just kept talking my to myself in my head. “All you can do is wait.”
Green. Yellow. Red.
After what seemed like eternity, the paramedics finally arrived. They asked me where I was injured, and after several attempts, I was able to squeak out a very strained, “My neck.” After that, things are a bit of a blur. I remember them cutting off all my clothes & their shock when I did not have the body parts they were expecting. But I was starting to loose focus, as the most severe pain I have every experienced in my life was beginning to creep in; & it would get much worse before it got any better.
It’s been a LONGGG road to recovery. Many ups & downs. But the experience of acute physical trauma& living with the chronic pain & disabilities that remain, has forced me get really clear about my priorities; about what I really want in life. I know that when something is extremely challenging for me but I refuse to give up; it means I really want it.
That’s how it’s been with goldsmithing. Although I’ve come quite a long way since I started my training back in 2015, it’s still a real challenge for my body somedays. But the thing is, when my pain is bad, most things are a challenge, so why not spend that time doing something I love? It feeds my heart in such a deep and nourishing way, that I keep striving; slow & steady. Little by little, I am learning the ancient ways of my ancestors. I feel them smiling. And the thing is, it’s a path I’m not sure I would have found if I had not almost died 13 years ago.
This video recounts my healing journey from a serious spinal injury in 2010, to the artist I am today; from breaking my neck & being bed ridden, to becoming a Filipinx goldsmith. Living through such a traumatic accident & the pain that followed, taught me how to surrender to the present moment, how to receive when I could give nothing in return & the importance cultivating of joy.
I turned to creativity as a way to cultivate joy & reclaim some of my life from the severe, unrelenting chronic pain I experience everyday. Doing things that brought me joy was a way to have pain take up less space in my life. This, in turn, led me to retraining as a goldsmith & opening my own business making custom jewelry, Samonte Cruz Studios.
My art is now my work and my life, although it still shares that space with the chronic pain I still experience. The art I create through Samonte Cruz Studios feeds my spirit by giving me opportunities to reconnect to my culture, through the ancient traditions my ancestors mastered; goldsmithing & metalwork.
Thanks to Producer Amy Mahardy and the Creative Services team at CW11 in Seattle for helping to tell my story.
Samonte is excited to be a lead artist along side textile artist Jennifer Burke, and glass artist Bee Schroder, for Outside the Box, a collaborative art project organized by Nelson & District Arts Council which will live stream on January 23rd 2022 at 7pm.
The Nelson & District Arts Council is proud to present the first-ever instalment of Outside the Box, a project which wires artists from across disciplines together to create cutting-edge interdisciplinary work.
Each artistic “pod” is composed of artists from a wide range of disciplines. They are not given any prompts or constraints. Over the course of several sessions, the pods develop their work into a piece that can be professionally filmed.
Tackling subjects from the tedium of the workplace to the vastness of the universe, each project has emerged unique, poignant, and potent. The Outside the Box project culminates in a showcase video and an artist talk, which will live stream on Sunday, January 23, at 7 pm on Facebook and YouTube. For more info visit: https://www.ndac.ca/outside-the-box/.
Samonte Cruz performs in front of mural artwork by Kelly Shpeley, titled, “Rare Bird”. Photo by B Schroeder.
Nelson International Mural Festival returns this week for its third annual event, taking place entirely online.
From August 10 – August 14th, youth aged 12-24 years can sign up for free dance workshops in everything from breakdancing and waaking to dancehall and hip hop.
From August 14-16, tune in live to Nelson Mural Festival on Twitch, Facebook or Mixcloud for an entire weekend of music, workshops and celebration of public art featuring Canadian artists such as The Librarian, Emotionz, Notorious Cree and Miss Chief Rocka alongside local talent like Della (formerly known as Erica Dee), Rumour Mill, Robgoblin, Mooves, Samonte Cruz and so much more.
The festival is free of charge, all ages, all welcome.
