It’s not about protecting trans kids

CW: transphobia, violence, murder, rape, suicidal ideation

I’ve been feeling angry. Really, really angry. The trend in conservative politics to create & pass anti-trans legislation that specifically targets one of the most vulnerable, least powerful populations in the US; trans & non-binary CHILDREN; is absolutely appalling. This is spearheaded by one of the most powerful demographics in the world, cis-het, white men. I am seething with rage.

Being a trans kid that doesn’t fit into the gender binary is hard enough in this world, I remember. But to then have your own government actively writing laws to make it illegal for you to seek healthcare that might literally save your life, you can’t understand the kind of damage that does to one’s psyche, unless you’ve lived it; especially as a young child.

There have been times in my life that it became so heavy, painful & inescapable that I did not feel like I could keep living in this world. It felt like the only way to get relief from the pain, was in my own death.

I came of age in a time when the only trans representation in the media was drag queens and mentally ill serial killers. The first time I ever saw a trans-masculine person being portrayed on the big screen, he would be raped & murdered before the two hours was up. In terms of queer representation, for a short time, there was Ellen. But I distinctly remember thinking, ‘if Ellen is what being gay is, than I’m not gay’. When she did finally come out, her show was cancelled.

I knew that I was not equal under the law; I could loose my job for just being me & definitely could not marry. I actually ended up leaving my home country at the age of 22, because there was no way for my partner at the time to legally immigrate to the states. So I eloped & moved to Canada with whatever I could fit in my car. I left behind all my friends, family, and a career I loved. In a new country without a support system, I became extremely isolated and ended up staying in a extremely toxic marriage for seven years before finally breaking free.

As a queer, gender non-conforming youth, it honestly felt like the whole world was against me. I battled depression & suicidal ideation daily. The only thing that kept me going, was an inner voice inside me who always knew it was not me that was wrong, it was them. I was stubborn & I knew it was right to be my true-self, no matter the cost. It was a long and often lonely road, but eventually I found my people. I have spent the majority of my life doing community organizing work, because I never wanted another human, but especially youth, to feel alone & isolated like I did.

If I’d had access to gender affirming health care, it would have saved me from so many tortured nights I spent contemplating my own death. If I had a single adult advocate for me to receive the care I needed, it would have decreased my suffering ten-fold. If I had known as a child that trans people existed; if I had had the language to describe my gender as something more complex than male or female, I know my path would have been easier. But instead, I lived for years with an internal battle; knowing I could end my suffering at anytime… by ending me.

So now that grown men are fear mongering & spreading lies about what gender affirming care actually is (no one is saying children should get surgery) & writing legislation to criminalize adults who are seeking healthcare for trans youths, I am livid.

Like, why don’t you go pick on someone your own size? Maybe the billionaires that are destroying the planet? Or, idk, working to end gun violence by banning military assault rifles? You know the weapons that literally kill children on the daily? Just spitballing here… 🙄😤

But no. It’s the trans children they are after. It’s shameful, cowardice, and will literally cost trans people their lives. And time will show that they are, indeed, on the wrong side of history. But that brings little comfort now to trans children and the adults that support them.

The truth is that if this was about protecting children, gun reform bills would have already been passed and made into law. But this isn’t about protecting kids, it’s about conservatives waging an ideological war against the left. It’s about stoking ignorance & fear to foster moral outrage; so that when it comes time to vote in 2024 people will believe they are casting a vote to protect children. In reality, these laws make children more unsafe and criminalize the existence of an entire community of people who are just trying to live their lives in peace.

So, I decided to make a sticker. It won’t change anything, but maybe it will be seen by a trans person & make their day a little better and/or their space a little safer.

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